Thursday, April 17, 2014

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Putin's got nuthin on this motherfucker.

I wouldn't say I'm back as much as I'd say I'm back for today if you're pickin' up what I'm layin' down.

Five years ago this Sunday the City of Richfield laid me off. Fuck them, I never liked them in the first place.

Five years without a job. Five years without a job is no big deal. Somehow I survived 29 years in the workplace and that's a big fucking deal, skippy. If I had to do it all over again I would have stolen a shitload of rock salt for my alley.

What do I do all day? No, what do you do all day besides fucking off on Facebook, Twitter and Craigslist? I baked a cake using out of date cake mix and balanced it off by using out of date canned frosting. That's a whole afternoon's worth of fun.

A writer writes and what I do isn't writing even if I sit here in my little newspaperman's fedora and hunt and peck the shit out of the keyboard.

Soon we'll stop shoveling snow and start bitching about mowing the lawn. My push mower needs sharpening but after a little checking I found out that buying a new push mower would cost the same as getting the old one sharpened.

Remember to shower after scanning Craigslist.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Friday, December 20, 2013

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

I know, it's just a bike...


No, it's ok that you guys took one of the iconic bikes of this life and chopped it up for parts. I'll consult my two trusted advisors (Our accountant Red and family consiglierie Snakecrotch) about whether you should be removed from the will.